Forgiveness Is Love Directed Inward
Forgiveness healed my digestive issues. But more than that, it utterly rewrote my past and altered my life for good.
In 2023, I had a terrible flare up of what felt like the worst heartburn l've had in a while. This digestive symptom has flared up on and off for four years (I thought it had been just a couple but was recently reminded of the first time I felt this four years ago).
I've never taken anything for it. I always just let it pass. I've learned enough over the last few years to know, when this is presenting, my body is working something out.
I had just experienced a pretty emotional exchange a week before, so, I chalked it up to a "healing in progress". I had a conversation with my friend Shannon and she said, "oh, that's an indigestible morsel conflict. You're having a hard time accepting something." I didn't stress about what it might be. I knew that my prayer therapy would gently reveal anything I was ready to know.
A day later, during my prayer time, I decided to visualize myself inside my stomach. I began praying inside my body. I thought I might speak certain words but while I was in my stomach, the only thing I could say was "I love you." I said it over and over and over.
The words took over and it was happening subconsciously. The tears began to flow. I blessed my body and watched as my stomach was filled with light.
As this resolution within was happening, in my vision my 4 year old self appeared. She took my hand and began walking me through some familiar childhood memories and then told me, "I want to show you something else." Instantly everything I had seen changed and she walked me through the entirety of my childhood, teenage hood and adulthood from a completely new paradigm. Everything in the memories she was showing me were different. Same parents, different experience. Same family, completely different experience. My mother was a different version of herself too.
All of this was highly emotional, but before she left, she looked at me to communicate that this was my new life.
This was my reality. And I felt it so deeply as though all of the things I witnessed in great detail were my actual life. It changed me so deeply. I felt like a different version of myself.
She helped me digest all of the bitterness of my childhood by transforming it. And all of this was initiated by the Love I showed myself in my prayer.
The pain I had been feeling for days began to subside and within 48 hours it was barely noticeable. Within 4 days it was gone and hasn't returned.
And from that moment forward I have walked each day of my life feeling brand new. New outlook, new ideas, new me. It truly feels, even when I attempt to remember my life "as it was" that the memories are so faint, almost like water color. And the alternate timeline I was shown is so vivid and true that more and more it establishes itself inside me.
Forgiveness rewrote my past, so that my body could find its resolution. Forgiveness is Love directed inward. And Forgiveness is the catalyst to all resolution in our lives.